Snigelkrigaren

I know what I can do,
And I know what I can become.
Or, I don’t know what I can become.

I know what I can do,
But I don’t know what I can become.
I only know it’s great.
And I need you to see my magic.
I need you to bring out the magic in me.

There are so many feelings that want out.
So much that has to be said.
So many people that need to be touched.
And I know I can do it.
I just have to believe in me first.
I just need you to believe in me first.

My entire being is so packed with emotions:
- of love and responsibility for those I care for;
- of bitterness and resentment toward those that have betrayed me;
- of frustration and even despair toward those who can but won’t make the change.

And people don’t understand.
They want me to be normal.
They are afraid to let me shine.
They know, as well as I, what I can do.
But if they let me,
No-one is going to see their new clothes or listen to their party-stories anymore.
If they would enable me to shine,
It would mean that they didn’t have anything to bring to the table anymore.
And surely,
That would freak anyone out.

But sometimes,
For me,
From my point of view,
Being who I am and all,
It just gets to be too much,
Too many feelings,
Too much responsibility,
Too many pigeon-holes to try to fit into.

And that’s when my being starts to expand,
First growing within me,
Then growing so much it tries to grow out of me!
And it feels like I’m about to explode!
I end up screaming,
Crying
And cursing
because there’s nowhere for me to go.
Nowhere I can fit.
Nowhere I can be me.
If I’m lucky, as I’ve been once,
I’m able to keep all these emotions in,
Until one day,
Someone assumes that I don’t know the law because I have a non-Swedish physical appearance.
And I explode!
All up in that old racist hag’s face!
I even shoved her.
And I screamed at her.
I am Swedish!
And I was so proud.

So darling, if you want to see me shine,
if you want me to be all that I can be,
If you see the strength in me,
The light in me,
Just stand by me.
Don’t question.
Don’t push.
You may think I move slow,
But you will always see me moving,
You will never see me stop.

Svekets följder

Jag har inte alltid varit sådan här.
Det har inte alltid varit så här svårt.
Jag minns ännu när världen inte var svart och vit.
Världen ÄR inte så svart och vit nu heller.
Men jag vill se mer av det goda.
Jag skulle vilja kunna tillåta mig själv att se lite av det goda då och då.
Det hade känts bra.
Men också som ett svek.
Men det är nödvändigt för att gå vidare.
Jag skulle vilja säga att de inte är onda,
men jag vet inte.
Ondska är sällan så direkt som man föreställer sig det vara.
Ondska är också en underlåtenhet,
en frånvaro av medveten och riktad godhet,
en tillåtelse att låta allt fortsätta som vanligt.

Jag är ledsen för det jag gör mot Dig.
Det gör mig ont att inte vara stark nog att se över deras svek gentemot mig.
Jag vill inte såra dig.
Men jag klarar inte av att lita på dig just nu.
Jag kan inte förmå mig själv att tro att Du kan tillhöra en av de goda.

Based on Stereotypes

If you were to judge me based on stereotypes of women,
you would miss my ten year background in the full-contact martial art of tae kwon do,
you would miss the fact that I relate to male stereotypes rather than female,
and you would definitely miss-judge my skills in the kitchen!
On the other hand, you would be right when it comes to me being very emotional.

If you were to judge me based on stereotypes of young people,
you would miss my seriousness about life,
you would miss my respect for age and experience,
and you wouldn’t think that I’m saving for my retirement.
But you would be right about me being very naïve.

If you were to judge me based on stereotypes of Asians,
you would miss the fact that I don’t take crap from anyone,
you would miss my non-materialistic side,
and you would think that I was a whole lot skinnier than I am.
Then again, you would be right concerning my LOVE for rice!

If you were to judge me based on stereotypes of young women with foreign background,
you would perhaps only miss my freedom to date whomever I choose,
because I am as loud as one side of the stereotype is
and I am as quiet as the other side of the stereotype is.
And despite my freedom to date whomever I choose,
I am so conservative that, by choice mind you (!), the number of sex partners I’ve had at the age of 25 still amounts to 0!
Another way of being right, though, would be to judge my amount of attitude based on stereotypes of young men with foreign background.

Now if you were to judge me based on stereotypes of Swedes,
you would miss my joy for life and how eager I am to tell you everything about me,
you would miss my opinion on how the dude that invented “jantelagen” should shove it up somewhere the sun doesn’t shine,
and you would be dead wrong about me being easy.
You’d be right when it comes to order and time-keeping.

If you were to judge me based on stereotypes of less religious Catholics, heterosexuals, people with full mental and physical capacities and not being transgender,
I either don’t know what you would miss,
or you just might be right about everything.